Tuesday, January 15, 2008

tuesday the 15th




so fudge. today i had to do hella shit for dance. two essays, cut music, and my art work. so i finish the essays and start on the music...i finish everything sounds good and smooth..then i click save as..and the program closes ! i'm so upset ! now i have to wait for my uncle to come home so he can help me and see what the problem is. ha wtf...im so upset. anywhoo... shaun's class tomorrow guys...good stuff huh....i hate taking his classes i feel like i can't freakin dance when i do his classes hahaha. shoooz. let's see. i made meccamee that's an update. practices thursdays at SMASH. and BREAKTHROUGH THIS WEEKEND SON !!!!! vegas coming up for real. yee. me and aj collabo together. so yeah we doin a pretty good piece. kinnah fast ish haha. but yeah ! it's at backstage dos. finals are this week at school and dang next semester i gotta keep my head in school ahhaha fuuuck. only 5 months left of school. make the best of it yeah? shit. i don't know...but man i'm so close to pursuing my dance dream. 5 more months...then i'm on my way! haha shit so excited. so babe is scared imma leave him...cuz i want to pursue my dance dream. nahhh i'll be there for you hunny....all the time. i know you don't think so but watch when i show you i will. i love you so much and remember..we be living under the same roof :D ok uncle is home need to get back to that stupid music !!! night night

Wednesday, January 9, 2008

frustration

Ain't nobody ever prove their love when
Things were all good
And two people are smiling
Love is found way down in the trenches
When he's throwin a fit
And she is sittin there crying
We tear it up
To patch it up
Break up
To make up
The show goes round and round
And that how we get down
We go back and forth
And anyone who goes through this should know
That what i am saying is for real
Real love is meant this way
We say things that we don't mean
And that's the way love works out sometimes
He's trippin
She's trippin
And we both be trippin and
That's the way love works out sometimes
Cause when it's on it's on
And your no longer stressin'
And life teaches a lesson
That love is still a blessin
Cause when it's all said and done
Were back at square one
And that's the way love works out sometimes
toni braxton-trippen
relationships are rough. duh not everything is happiness and good times. but man...so much frustration in me lately that i can'tdo anything but cry. i fuckin can't take a lot of this nonsense in my life right now. i can't sleep at night when he's not at my side...because we always argue. too fuckin much. the way we talk to each is just not healthy. i try not to make your life difficult but you say these things that hurt me and you get me so mad,sad, frustrated, fuck iuno ! damn. this damn toni braxton song..ahhahaha fuck ! makin me hella sad...but i don't know who to talk to right now...i just felt like i had to type this shit out. i love him so much but sometimes i question myself...did i fall to fast? i know for a fact that i love him and shit he does so much for me... but when we argue...he says so much shit thats nonsense ya know?! i don't even kknow wtf i'm talkin about right now...i'm makin no sense i'm just typing away. but fuck. all i know is that i'm frustrated and hurting inside. alright kids...that's my night. arguing. yay. good night to everyone god bless <3

Thursday, January 3, 2008

on my mind <3

so ummm....haha. i can't get my babe off my damn mind. i miss him as my neighbor. i miss seeing him all the damn time. but yea...just for the memory... we were at my grandma's house and he said he couldn't stop listening to with you by chris brown...and now i'm here listening to the song. i never really listened to that song until he told me that was his song to me. babe you gay ass..ahha but here are the lyrics

Hey littl mama
ooh, you're a stunner
hot little figure
yes, you're a winner
and i'm so glad to be yours,
you're a class all your own
and
oh, little cutie
when you talk to me
i swear the whole world stops
you're my sweetheart
and i'm so glad you are mine
you are one of a kind and...

you mean to me
what i mean to you and
together baby,
there is nothing we won't do
cause if i got you

i don't need money
i don't need cars
girl, you're my all
and..

oh i'm into you
and girl,
no one else would do,
cause with every kiss and every hug,
you make me fall in love,
and now i know i can't be the only one,
i bet there heart's all over the world tonight,
with the love of they life who feel 
what i feel when i'm
with you girl

oh girl
i don't want nobody else
without you, there's no one left then,
you're like jordans on saturday,
i gotta have you and i cannot wit now,
hey little shawty
say you care for me
you know i care for you,
you know that i'll be true,
you know that i won't lie, 
you know that i would try,
to be your everything yeah...

and i
will never try to deny,
that you're my whole life,
cause if you ever let me go,
i would die
so i won't front,
i don't need another woman,
i just need your all and nothing,
cause if i got that,
then i'll be straight
baby, you're the best part of my day

fuck i typed that stupid shit myself cuz i can't figure out how to cut and paste on a mac book lmao ! stupid me... but my song to him... say you will-brandy... fuck i gotta type again?!

i never met a guy so sweet
someone who knocks me of my feet
i never knew that it could be, not until i met you baby
you never met a girl like me, i only wanna make you happy
i never knew that i could be free, not until i met you baby

(all i wanna do)
lately all that i wanna do is
(is spend all my time with you)
every second, every minute, every hour
i can't let you get away, ain't goin nowhere,
i need your loving every day
oh yes i do

say you could feel the way i feel for you
say you will do the things you promised to
say you love me the way that i love you
say you will, say you will

never knew a love like you 
to do the things that you do
you never seem to lose your touch,
that's why i love you baby
i travel around the whole wide world,
and i say hat i'm your girl
never had these feelings,
not until i met you baby

baby all i wanna do
is spend all my life with you
have three four kids like you
and have some more if you want me to (ok maybe not that shi ahha)
i don gave up everything
so now it's time to give me hat ring
so baby say what you feel about me, say

tadaaa my super duper typing. i know i probably typed some wrong shit lmao. but whatever. it's something i can read when i'm bored :]


ok goodnight.
<3333



cannot sleep!

so um i cannot sleep..so i might as well write in this stupid thaaaang. geeezez. so today was an interesting day you can say...again reggie arguments. geeezez. he got mad cuz i was talking to my ex george. dang babe you trip way too damn much ! i don't mind at all if you talk to erikaaaas. she's an amazing girl and i have no problem with you talking to her. just tell me why you get mad when i talk to him..randomly like ONCE and plus i havnt talked to him for awhile but when you talk to her it's fine. make shit even...keep your word on things. i'd prefer us talkin to whoever...cuz i trust you...you read that babe..i fuckin TRUST yo ass...geeeez. we starting off the new year in bad terms. tell me why...he assuming i always talk to george...and he was all saying i be callin him babe and shit..wtf?! haaail fuckin nah. honestly, i cannot handle all this arguing..i don't need any of that nonsense right now. your stressing also...why would you wanna put up with that? i want to be here just to make you happy. enough of that ill type forever about that hahaha. shoooooz ! anywhoo...i just want to say...miss erika haha..i want to thank you for being there for me to vent to...i'm sorry if it's weird for you when i talk to you...in my eyes..you must be a strong girl. shit if i were you i would be dying being like why this bitch talkin to me...hahaha jk. but fuck...i look up to how strong you are girl. so much respect for you. i'm glad we are cool with each other too.. makes things easier for me. thank yooooou !

he tells me he's scared and worried about us...worried that i'll be like his ex. falling for my ex boyfriend the way she did. hunny i'm not her. honestly if i wanted to be with my ex i would go and try to be with him...like i said we are OVER...yeah i miss him..i still got that mad love for him..but then again i always will have that for him. like you and erika. you should be lucky your ex will still talk to yo ass after what you did. your lucky she still there for you...especially buyin yo damn huf hats for you hahaha. jk jk but seriously....cherish that. you have someone who knows you best...a friend that you will have forever... unlike george..he stubborn and don't want anything to do with me. i mean yeah random hellos and shit with him...but i can't have those talks i used to have with him. oh yeeeeeeeeah ha. but yeah babe you are one stubborn mofuckaaah. i know i'm stubborn too but you act like you aren't stubborn yourselfff. but seriously one thing that makes me upset is that he gets mad at every little thing. gosh i know you care but can you quit that nonsense stuff? geeeez...

once again...happy new years everyone ! 2008 holy shit...holy shit holy shit. hahahahaa. let this year bring more memories in my life. memories are something to cherish forever...and hold them in your heart. 2007 was crazy...man i'm already on my second year living here in vegas. seems like only yesterday when i moved here..haha i remember i moved on george's birthday..june 24th 2006. sadest fuckin day of my life. i remember calling him from my aunt's phone...he sounded happy like a normal day..didn't know i moved...cuz it was unexpected...and then i told him... i remember we was just sooo upset. i remember he called my aunt's phone the next day...crying. my heart exploded. i could tell how much he loved me...and how much i loved him. i was so hurt for reals...he meant so much to me honestly. but long story short...we didn't work out...we tried for another year when i was here in vegas...he came down numerous times and everytime i saw him we were both so happy....everytime he left it was like when i moved all over again. it's crazy cuz i thought i would never get over him. had my ups and downs in my other relationships or the ppl i was talkin to...yet george would never seem to get out. it took about a year and a half to get over him fully. i don't regret anything about him. i'm glad he was apart of my life. i learned so much from our relationship. i'm sorry for hurting you mr. rivera...hahaha seriously. george cortez rivera jr. your fuckin crazy boy ! ahahh god bless you and your family. always got you no matter what.

wtf am i typing...a damn novel fuck this.


trust in me...cuz i know what i can give.

Tuesday, January 1, 2008

happy new years !!!! it's finnah 2008 !

so wtf 2008 already?! oh my geeeeez. what a crazy ass year. somahtz happened ! but anywhooo my night last night. or my WHOLE DAY YESTERDAY ! was shit ! ughhh. sjdkfsjldfdsklfjds. i'm so sorry baby. fuuuuck. i know i fucked up hella. he didn't talk to me the whole day until AR's. but anywhoo. i want to thank the people who talked to me yesterday. erikaaaas haha...girl thank you so much for being there when i vented to yo ass hahaha. it really helped me out <33>

last night i had dinner with my family. we had filet mignon. is that how you spell it ?! haha but anyways...it was kinnah gross haha. then i got ready after that and then joseph picked me up with jessee. ha. went to AR's cousin's house. drank a beer or two. then babe and lolo came in. my golly hahah i was like fuuuuuuck. then we talked and he said he forgave me. ehhh kinnah weird still. haha. but whatevvv im sorry baby ! so it was like 1030...everyone took they first shot....then we just kept taking shots after that. baby was done. hahahaha. he had to throw up but it wouldn't come out. yeeeeeup. so midnight came..got my kiss from my baby :] muhahaha good stuff. i remember this girl called and hes like happy new years ! blah blah... i'm kissing my gf...ahha whack ass. shooooz. i love him...but after midnight we all went to some party near red rock or something?? but babe was too fucked up...hahaha. oh god. tried throwing up again but he didn't haha. anyways...yeah that was my night i guess haha. knocked the fuck out right when i got home. hahahahah yee yeeeeeeeeee! happy new years though guys...


so... this year i got to make it the best. it's my year. graduating this year. getting my life together. i have a wonderful boyfriend by my side to support me and take care of me. i have wonderful friends who are always there for me. i love my family. without them i wouldn't be the person i am today. but i shall cont. this later im too lazy to ty pe yee happy new years !!!