Tuesday, February 12, 2008

Arguing.

Alright, i always do this. Write in here then i end up writing again. What a damn nerd i am! Anywhoo, as everyone knows, Reggie and I argue too damn much. Me and Reg have been together for about 3 months (on the 17th) now. I love that kid so much. But we cannot go a day without arguing. Maybe one of these days I'm not going to be able to hand it and we might split. I really don't want that to happen because I love him so dearly. Nothing seems to work out. We sit and talk, he tells me to change this and that...We try to find a solution and stop things and we agree...but nothing ends up right. We go straight back to arguing. I know he loves me too for a fact. Knowing him he could probably move on with a blink of an eye. But this has been on my mind the past days. I can't get it out.

We need to communicate ya know? Frequent fighting tells me there are some underlying issues in this relationship and it needs to be worked on. We fight about things that don't even matter because we are not really talking about the things that matter. Does that make sense? I don't know how to explain it. There has got to be a reason why we are at each other's throats...Nothing will change until we find out. I listen to him with an open heart. I hope he does the same. I need to learn how to not get defensive to what he says. Goodness it's so frustrating people ! The times I try to communicate with him, he don't want to listen. He always wants to be the one with the last say. He always interrupts me when I talk. He gets mad way too easily and makes a little problem seem so HUGE. Are our problems worth arguing for? Hell no....I know I would like to ask my friends for help, but I know it makes things worse. I'm not saying you guys are worthless...I'm saying you guys will always be on my side trying to make him look bad. I know all of this isn't his fault...a lot of it is mine too.

Reggie, I love you dearly hun, but things get out of hand don't you think? We talk about our future and promise to be with each other till the end...We talk about moving in together...We talk about supporting each other..this that...but you think we can get there with our behavior? No way. This summer is our summer...going on our trip to get closer, seeing each other all the time, getting closer to our goals. Idk..but I need to go wash my hair out. I dyed it black again. Night Night....

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