Thursday, October 2, 2008

Just some thoughts...

So I'm almost 18. What have I been doing? Not much...I just want to start my career already...

2009 is going to be MY year...

Short Term Goals


-Put together resume

-Go to the gym lose 15 lbs

-Get some gigs out here in Vegas

-Sign with an agent

-Take some classes and train train train!

Ultimate Goals!!

-Dance on tour with an artist

-Teach at local studios

-Open up my own studio/or pursue it with Daff and other Vegas dance community heads

As of my love life? Not looking for anything at the moment. If it comes it comes, if it doesn't, it doesn't. I could care less. I have my friends and family by myside 100% and I greatly appreciate them. <3

I want to thank Reggie for coming into my life. I have learned that no matter how much you put me down, it only made me stronger. Doubting my goal as being a dancer, I will show you what I am capable of you just watch. We will see who is laughing next year. =) You have made me into a strong individual with a strong heart. My heart is still healing no lie, but I have never felt so good about myself until now. Looking at you still playing your games makes me laugh. I used to be falling for all the bullshit you've said to me, yet still in denial of the truth that surrounds it. I've learned to let go, not EASY at all! So hard, but I ask myself, "Do I want to be with a guy who doesn't support my dream? Plays me like a fool? Lies to my face? Who's an immature fuck?" Hell no. No way. Not happening. You act younger than me! So sad, I feel sorry for you sometimes. But thank goodness I've learned to move on. It doesn't bother me anymore. Time does heal all wounds. Patience really is the key.

This is going to be put in the past. This is no freakin' way going to be anywhere in my future. You are being put to rest my friend. Yeah I miss you, but not in the same way. I'll always love you though. I promised you that, and I will never break it.

I got the call today,I didn't wanna hear
But I knew that it would come
An old true friend of ours was talking on the phone
She said "You've found someone"

And I thought of all the bad luck
And all the struggles we went through
How I lost me, and you lost you
What are all these voices, outside loves' open door
Make us throw off our contentment & beg for something more

I've been learning to live without you now
But I miss you sometimes
The more I know, the less I understand
All the things I thought I knew, I'm learning them again

I've been trying to get down, to the heart of the matter
But my will gets weak and my thoughts seem to scatter
But I think it's about forgiveness, forgiveness
Even if, even if, you don't love me anymore..

1 comment:

  1. Believe it or not, this was the first post with Reggie in it that did not make me feel hostile or angry at all! Honestly, I'm glad that you're starting to move on, and to better & bigger things, my dear. And not just to say this because I "want him", which lately I find myself in denial of the truth... no actually, he's in denial and i'm trying to force him to see... and hopefully make himself change his ways, again. Honestly I do not know what to believe anymore. But he's like the boy who cried wolf, and right now, I'm not such a firm believer in his words. But anyways, like I've said before, you need someone who's going to support you in all the things you do. They don't have to necessarily agree with you 100%, but if it's something that makes you happy, then he should encourage your happiness and be there for you! There's a lot of people out there that haven't made it as far as you when it comes to dancing. Hell no for sure I haven't, and there I find myself a tad bit jealous because you've found your passion. It takes time and commitment, but girl you've had 15 years of that, and I must say I am proud of you & your accomplishments. Dang, wrote you a 4-page letter here! (= You special duckling! <-- eww wtf?!

    Ugh anyways, the fag's going to be here tonight. I'm probably going to backhand him, kick him in the balls and, strangle his neck the first instant I see him. For you & for me. Haaaah, see how that bitch likes it! Oh gaawd I feel so evil. Oh fuuuck it!

    Ughhh it's almost your birthday! GO HARD OR GO HOME, BETCH!!